Do you love cool stuff? Do you love owning cool stuff? Do you love owning cool stuff so much that some people could possibly somehow mistake you for a hoarder, but you're not a hoarder, you're just a cool person who loves owning cool stuff so much it makes you look like a hoarder, which you're not?

Then have we got the club for you:

The Refined Hoarders Club.

Finally, a place for people who may seem like garden-variety hoarders to the uninitiated, but who are, in actuality, Refined Hoarders. What's the difference? Well, for one thing, Refined Hoarders are refined. What does that mean? It means the stuff they're hoarding is cool. So what? So, they get a pass!

That's right -- Refined Hoarders Club members get a literal pass:

At The Newsagent's, we believe everyone should have the right to buy what they want with money. Call us crazy, but we just think you should be allowed to spend money on cool things that make you happy! Radical? Sure. But allow us tell you about another so-called "radical" who thought the exact same thing. His name was George Washington. Ever heard of him? Well, he just so happens to be the guy on the one dollar bill. Coincidence? We think not.

But that's not all! (Did you think it was? Because it's not.) In addition to the Free Pass, all Refined Hoarders Club members get an expertly curated series of perks:

So go ahead and hoard up on cool stuff. And if anyone gives you grief, just come on down to The Newsagent's. We'll give you a pass.